March 5, 2011

Personal Post: The Writings of a Realistic Dreamer

Written at 9AM this morning, with the inspiration I got to come back to this blog and writing books.

With this world of passion and art comes a newcomer who dreams big. From birth, I have been doing two things - telling stories and looking at the cyber world. When it comes down to most of the knowledge I have acquired, it is thanks to the internet. The internet offers many things to me and I must admit that without it, my brain would lack even the ability to write this.

Two of my best friends are pens and papers. I have always had them at hand when I was unknowing of how to write the English language, undergoing drastic changes, or trying to learn guitar. I don't know why I dared to run away from writing when I tried to learn street magic or the guitar. I feel like I've been rejecting the only thing that cares about me. Even this morning, around an hour before writing this, I wanted to make films. I wanted to be a cinematographer and use the camera. Of course, there's nothing wrong with doing two things, but I feel like I was running away from writing. I listen to music on the radio, watch films, play games, and I dream. I do multiple things. I tell and read stories, and books are my outlet to sharing them.

I used to write to tell my stories. After that, I would write for my friends and to bring us closer together. Just a couple of days ago, I wanted to write to make money. At this moment, it's honestly a combination of all three and more. I want to write to have someone hear me. I want to write to prove to peers, my family, and my teachers that I have something inside of me that is bigger than the outside. I may be a fledgling teenager that almost every adult writer puts down, but I have something to say. I write to escape from reality. For example, at this moment, I should be researching roller coasters for a science project, planning a film strip, or doing that geometry assignment. Here I am, wasting my time, writing about nothing and listening to the radio on a clear, Saturday morning. At 9:30 AM, I am the only one awake in the house. I want to write to make money so I can write even more (and buy cool fountain pens and my favorite writing software - Scrivener). I also want to write for the feeling of running your fingers over paper that has been written on. Most importantly, I want to write to make sure I don't die forgotten. Though many artists have died and have been forgotten, I can still find that artist's life through their work. As for me, I want one person in the future to pick up something I wrote, read it's entirety, and just think about who I was for a second. Perhaps, that is why I write everything in pen. It is permanent whether you like it or not. If you cover it with whiteout, the words are just underneath. If you burn the paper, the ink is etched in the ashes.

The relative question must come into mind - what do I want to achieve with writing? I want one of my books somewhere in one of the crowded bookshops that are overloaded with all kinds of books and where the owner of the stores is passionate about the topic. I want someone to come in, pick up a hardcover copy of my book, read it with an interest, and put it on their beloved bookshelf. Don't take me the wrong way about the hardcover book. I want to publish my books in everything but audiobook format (I just don't like them) and am saving up for a Kindle myself. I also want someone to read my book, go onto and write a story about it. I don't care if the story has poor punctuation, grammar, spelling, sentence structure, or grammar. I will read and comment on every one. (This one was primarily an inside joke for my friends and I.)

At the same time, whether I admit it to myself or not, I do not want to make a full-time living writing. In order to make a full-time living from writing, you have deadlines to meet or you don't get enough to pay the bills. I don't mind if I make a full-time living, but I hope to never quit whatever day job I get for writing. I've had the idea of a particular story for a year and a half, and this is the second time I'm starting over with it. The ability to market doesn't appeal to me either - twitter, SEO, blogs that I'm not passionate and constantly researching about (unlike A Storyteller's Mind), it all doesn't appeal to me. I plan to have a static website, a book trailer,  and a Facebook Fan Page I update every month or so. I want to find a stable job and spend the money I make from writing on writing workshops, conventions, books about writing, and fountain pens, of course. I just have to figure out what that stable job is.

For now, I'm taking my life slowly and trying to avoid homework and projects by writing for a couple of hours...

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